I’ve heard the question “Are you ready?” a lot recently. I often answer with a bit of nervous laughter and a jumbled response of “I think so!” while I silently sort through a fluster of “yes…no…maybe…I don’t know!”
The reality that I am about to welcome a second baby into the world is starting to sink in. I am manically preparing and making room within our apartment, ordering anything I can think of from online baby shops, and all the while planning my daughter’s third birthday party. Understandably there is a great deal of emotions swirling around thanks in part to my dear friend pregnancy – but regardless; it’s a lot to digest.
I’ve been living a “simple” existence for the last three years with just one child. We’ve been in a groove for a while now, since navigating the murky waters of sleep deprivation and the various anxiety-inducing phases of mobility. We’ve been a family of three for so long, it’s almost difficult to remember life as just two – forget my single days altogether, ancient history.
I remember the newborn days with shocking clarity, which leaves me feeling a bit concerned and reassured all at the same time – I’ve totally done this before. I have the hindsight of knowing what to expect with a newborn, but I have the hindsight of knowing what to expect with a newborn – and that is a little terrifying.
Most of all though, I am feeling excited. I am so curious about this little baby and can’t wait to fall in love all over again like my husband and I did with our daughter three years ago.
I often read or hear about people feeling concerned that they can’t imagine loving another child as much as their first, and as common as that is, I don’t feel that conflict. I absolutely felt that way when my daughter was really young, but when I started to sense an opening in my heart to love another child was when I knew I was ready to try for another – and it took three years to come full circle to where I am today. I’ve had plenty of time to dwell and question if I was ready – now feels like the right time.
So…am I ready?
I think so! I am nervous about losing my sleep and in turn my sanity for a little while, but I am focusing on soaking it all up regardless and reveling in the beauty of early motherhood for another time.