Diaper Party Etiquette: Rules, Ideas, + How to Host

Diaper parties are a growing trend, and with them come questions about proper etiquette.

Can you have a diaper party and a baby shower? What about throwing your own? Should the dads be involved?

Let’s get into it!

Baby Shower vs. Diaper Party

A baby shower is a special event where friends and family members bring gifts for the mother-to-be. They’re usually thrown in the early afternoon, there were likely formal baby shower invitations sent out, and there are lots of fun games and finger foods. For those that really go all-out, there’s sometimes even a party theme.

Baby showers are super helpful for first-time moms with absolutely nothing and who need help stocking up on essentials, like breastfeeding supplies, baby bottles, baby clothes, and baby gear. Even a gift card to places like Target or Amazon is priceless!

Diaper parties, on the other hand, are focused solely on gifting diapers, and they’re typically men-only and very informal. Each person is supposed to bring a pack of diapers or some baby wipes.

It’s common for women to have a baby shower while men have a diaper party, also called a diaper shower, simultaneously.

welcome to the bbq sign — Photo Credit: MAMAMEGANALLYSA

I think it’s actually pretty heartwarming that the guys want to have their own pre-baby celebration. Some even refer to this as a dadchelor party, which makes it even cuter.

A typical “man shower,” or male-only diaper party, is all about diapers, beer, food, and perhaps some Poker – what’s not to like?

Diaper Party Formality

Everyone that I’ve spoken to has reported that diaper parties are very informal – it’s basically an excuse for the dad-to-be to get together with his friends before the baby arrives.

Diaper party invitations are not formal at all, and there’s no special catering, though the men might choose to go to a sports bar or restaurant. I’ve never seen any special diaper party games, either.

A great diaper party is usually just the guys hanging out, perhaps grilling some barbecue and having a few drinks. The invite is typically just texted or emailed to the guest list with a date and location.

The men are instructed to bring a box of diapers, and hopefully, the parents-to-be will end up with a nice stash with different size diapers.

Having both a diaper party and a baby shower is not rude or gift-grabby as long as it’s not the same people being invited to both.

Diaper Raffles vs Diaper Parties

Diaper parties make a lot of sense for those having a female-only baby shower. The men can do their own thing, and the party is a fun way to build up a diaper stash for that baby on the way.

However, if you’re not doing a female-only baby shower, or you just don’t want to have two separate parties, a diaper raffle is worth considering.

Diaper raffles are a part of the baby shower. Participants bring diapers in exchange for a raffle ticket. At the end of the baby shower, the host grabs one of the raffle tickets and announces the winner, who gets a prize.

Regarding etiquette, it’s not the best idea to invite the same group of people to a baby shower and a diaper party – one gift-giving event is enough, so a diaper raffle during your baby shower is your best bet.

But if it’s two separate groups of people, this can be a great way to celebrate and gather supplies for the baby.

Multiple Showers for the Same Baby

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having multiple baby showers for the same baby, as long as it’s not the same people being invited to both.

You might have a baby shower for different friend groups, different locations based on where your friends and family live, or maybe even your work.

I personally had two baby showers with my first child – one that my sister-in-law threw for me and another one from my husband’s work. It’s truly not bad baby shower etiquette to have more than one, so long as you aren’t the one hosting it.

No matter how many baby showers you have, soak up the love and support from everyone around you. Babies are expensive, and these events are an easy way for expecting parents to prepare for the arrival of a new baby.

Self-Hosted Diaper Party Etiquette

The big debate about diaper party etiquette revolves around hosting your own. Is it appropriate for the dad to self-host a diaper party?

The answer is it’s never a good idea to host your own baby shower or diaper party. It’s considered bad form.

It comes across as “present grabby” and rude. Let friends or distant relatives host the shower for you. If no one steps up to do that, spark up a conversation about it!

As an example, if my husband wanted to do a diaper party, I (his wife) would say something to his closest friend. It’s that simple, and let’s be honest… with men, we sometimes have to tell them what to do, and they do not get offended.

Cloth vs Disposable Diapers

If you’re thinking about hosting a diaper party for soon-to-be new parents in your life, definitely talk to them about whether they plan to use disposable diapers or cloth diapers.

If they plan to use cloth diapers, a regular baby shower is likely the best way to support and provide the supplies they need.

Perception and Cultural Norms

Another huge factor is the culture! In different areas of the world, and even within the United States, traditions and norms vary.

In some areas, diaper parties are a common pre-baby arrival gathering for men, and in other areas, they’re like… really, another gift-giving event for your baby?!

Talk with friends in your area if you’re not sure what the general pulse is on diaper parties in your area.

Also, consider any other events you’re doing for your baby. You’re probably going to annoy everyone around you if you have a baby reveal get-together, a gender reveal party, a baby shower, a Hatchelorette, and a diaper party. The guest of honor should never host her own party.

More Baby Shower Etiquette

A few more notes on baby shower or diaper party etiquette:

Only friends or distant relatives (not immediate family members) should host a baby shower or other gift-giving event. Otherwise, it may come across as gift grabby. This custom isn’t quite as set-in-stone as it was in the past, but it’s still considered the best etiquette.
Whoever decides to host the event is responsible for arranging and paying for it. They should never ask the mother or father-to-be to contribute financially to the event.
The baby shower or diaper party should not be at a location where guests have to pay to attend.
The mother-to-be should not try to take over the organizing and planning of the baby shower, if she knows it’s happening. Accept the baby shower itself as a gift.

Conclusion

If you’re having a baby shower and are concerned about diaper party etiquette, don’t worry – it’s perfectly fine to have both, as long as it’s not the same people being invited to both.

A diaper party is a great option for the dad-to-be to have a good time, mentally prepare to be a new dad, and spend some time with his guy friends. The most important part is arguably the diaper stash, but in reality, it’s a great way for everyone to bond before life gets hectic.

Leave a comment and let me know: are diaper parties a common occurrence where you’re from?

Rebekah

Rebekah is a writer and mother of three young children. She is also the woman behind Two Mama Bears, a blog for parents with babies and toddlers.